HetaNote
by 1PrettyPenny
Summary: kim jung il and hitler collabroate to give u a fanfiction experience combining all ov ur favorite fandoms. rated m for s and m.
1. Chapter 1

AN: thankz 4 reafin mah storeh \(030)/ dis iz gonna ber a cross oveah iof all da beust anime s ahnd stuffz so I hope u all love it cuz I do heresis a list of da animes dat will be IN IT!1!1111

Dead note ouran 666xxxholicxxx666 kuroshit luckeystar the soul eaterz utprinoma10000000000000%^o^smexehlovin HETALIA narutard HAIRY POTTER (I callz him haiRY cuz hes mah lest fave charracteh. DROCA 4DAWIN!1) and wrrioir catz. And the fuLLMEATLalchemistpanic and othersrtuff to.

WARNING! I RATEIT T FOR TEEN CUZ OF YAOIYURI AND HET!111111!AND OTHEH STUFFZ. Nd I do not own da charatcherz cuz if I did dere wud be lotz of yoai smexin

choPETARo UNO

pedobear wuz at da soopermarket in mexico lookn for refried beens for hiz cookout wen he passed be the petfood sec. nd there wuz Sebastian rubbing himself wif catfood 2 make himself mor applealing to da kittez! Bocchanm was wif him andpluto too. But pedo bear wuz sad cuz they didn bring elizabet to. Cuz ya know hespedo bear and hel likes leetel girls n stuffz.

"yoyoyo mah homies sed lord death ashe stepped out of one of da freezers holdin a Hot Pocket. He who shuld not be named was da cash registerer. Lod death lit up his pipe nd a secyrity guard whos nme was watari cwickly grabs lord dead nd takes him away 4 smokin in public in the freezer. And for stealin food(da Hot Pocket®)

pedobaer wuz striding to da checkout counter but den he sees kona-chan nd skreems cuz pedobears luv leetle girlz. He squeed like a fangirl..

_meanwile _in da chocolates and candeh sec. there wuz mello and lawliet. And mitskuny haninozooka. And they were tryin to fit all da candeh ito dere arms but they couldn't cuz it wuz too muchj. So matt suggested that they fill it up in dere clothers. So mello started tostick da candeh and mostly chocolatin his pants but dey was wayyyyyyyyy to tight so he called for his bemon dutler, claude to carry da goodiez. UNFORTUNATLY claude wuz naked. So he culdnt help.

Gwendolyn Bloodywrists Cholera Raven Witch Miku Hitachiin (AN: CLAIRE DIS IZ UUUUUU!) wuz talking to youngmaster-chan ciel about da goffic pokeymons and she wuz like" "da most goffic poketmon iz ttly jiggelypuff) nd siel dndt answer cuz he wuz chocked up wif love 4 her cuz she waz pretty nd had a nice body. But den alois came burstin outta ciel's shirt and skreemed "CIUL I THOUT U WER MAH LOVERRRRRRRR!1111111".

ur 2 sexay for me jabba da hut kill me now showtd mello, and so hedid by sticking a weinersausage downhis throte (LOL S&M!)

AN: dats it for chapooper uno so cum back soon nd plzz giv me reviews!111 (LOL I SED CUM)


	2. Chapter 2

AN: TANKZX SOOOOO MUCH 2 CLAIRE 4 HELPIN ME 2 WRITE DIS CHAPTAH! I LUV YA GF!1111111

Chapoopalooper toi

It wuz rainin outside but da hosts club wuz in session. It wuz june 9 wich is da hitachiin twinz birthday. U get it? 6/9? 69? ahqhahahahaLOLOLOL. Anywayz nekozawa da scientologist wuz sulkin around n the shawods.. all da fangirlz started streamin in nd dey were all fangasming ovar da hotness of da hitachiin twinz makin out wif eachother.

But dere was one relly gorgeous girl hoo cane in nd she waz soooo hot dat all da hosts started lookin at her. She had long blond hair wif black nd pink streakz nd gorgeous halze eyez like da stormy ocean dat shoed da deepness of her soul. She was wearin da regular uniform but in pink wif black nd purple lace nd it showd off her gorgous figure. Her name wuz Sakura-chan Haruka Bella Swan Malaria Jeevas Phantomhive Kurusu Hitachiin Beilshimtz. (AN: dis is me!111111111) She wuz carring her pet mokena nd it looked ust like da mokena from holic but it was pink wif black skulls nd its eyes were bright red cuz it was on KIRA's side. She also had a pink gilbird nestin in hur haire.

Mokena started to coff and choke nd every1 got scared cuz dey thought it was gonn die but den it spit out fai.

"OMFG HE LOOKZ JUST LIKE ME!" screamed tamak=i nd dey started smexin in da closet cuz twincest is hot.

All da fangirls wer goin to dere fave hosts. Pedobear wuz goin to hunny. Haruka Blackness Beautiful Neko Flowright Takashi Otoya (AN: RAY DIS IS YOO!) was goin 2 mori. Me nd Gwendolyn wuz goin to da twins. Nd death the KIDD wuz goin to kyoya cuz dey is both voiced by da same lycees. Nd dey is so dam hot together ne? then Gwen-chan shoutd; "if i told you i want ur body now, wood u hold it against me?!/!"

then she took offher bra and raped it round nekozowa neck and swung sexly round the pink fuzzy victoria secret strip pole. "HOLY MOTHER IMA FIRE INME LAZR BACON BRED HUBBAHUBBA DELICIOMOOSO SHAGGY SHAG TAG WAKA WAKA!" droold nekowzowa, he cood smell gwen's boob swet from hr bra it smeld like roses n' choclate mixd 2gethr. that's when his bazooka whent a-ding-ding if u no wut i meen(of corse u do if ur up-2-date on ur hentai)

(AN: nekozaka is da only straight guy =3=)


	3. Chapter 3

AN: AGAIN TANKZ 2 CLAIRE 4 HELPIN MEH WRITE LOLz DESU

chappacrapalapperhipster SAN

Edward elric wuz not lookin were he wuz goin so he walked into a brige but he wuz so short dat he just wkled straight under it. He wuz wearin his drunk goggles.

Meawhiles grell was flyin through da sky wif his death syth soul on beezelebub. Grell saw edweird nd wuz like OMFG ITZ A LEETLE BOY nd he swept down but edword walked rite into him

"TAKE OFF UR SLASH GOGGLES SO U CAN C WERE U R GOIN!1111110 shreiked grell nd they plowed rite into brittain and piced up cieland alois along da way and flew into Ouran School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Wen they got dere, every1 wuz naked nd drunk. Glerr got so phsyked dat he jizzed in his skirt. But he wasn't wearin undies so t fell on da floor nd tamak=i screamed. Edwardo didn't see wut happened cuz he wuz still wearin his hipster glasses.

I HAVE A FABULISOUS IDEA LETS PLAY STRIP SPIN THE BOTTLE!1111111" sqeeled tamak=i but dey weren't wearin any clothes 2 begin wif so dey peeled off eachothers skin. Alois rippedout a few eyebasll but not matt or edwardz cuz they was wearin goggles. Sebas-chan waz getting horny from all da blood nd carnage and foliage (he was an S&M perv) nd so he took da victoriasecret strip pole nd started whopping people ova da head wif it. Ciel wuz so turned on by da bemon dutler;s display of manliness dat dey started smexin in da corner but alois wuz jelous. elward elric become so horny fromda blood dat he startd wizzpopping, den grell took out his special gold name engravd whip and startd spanking him BECOZ HE WAS BEING A NAUGHTY SCHOOLBOY HE NEEDED A BEATING (O YEAH BEBE S&M!) edward moand and groaned w/ delight "o eddyboy" sed grell, "I never imagind it would be like dis" then he took out his pet parrot because noo disgusting sex scene is complete without bestiality nd metal limbs!

then edward magiclly transformd in2 a hot smexy nurse w/ fishnets he growld then grell trnasformd in2 a tranny cop with pink fuzzy handcuffs the parrot squaked and the cop chained the nurse to th chair w/ the pink hot fuzz and licked the nurse's ear

"naughty, naughty" sed the cop and then he chaind him 2 the walll in the dungeon and everything went ablaze with blue fire and hot smexyness. All of da yaoi couples wer intoxicated by da smex and began smexin. Tamak=i bit kyoyas lower lip nd kyoya groaned nd his glasses came flyin off across da room lightning speed nd shatterd as dey hit hikaru nd went up his butt hoo was smexin his twin nd. Alois nd ciel and sebz was on top of da piano feelin eachother up nd light nd dark yagami wer hittin up L from both sides nd every1s yaoi senses wer activated even da girlz was goin yuri like ecail nd renge and misa MiSa.

then the scene changed and they were in a hot steamy jungle mmm muskayy everyone was painted w/ blu paint an nakd and they all gorwle d and yitterd and twittred and barkd and mood and quakd then watr jazz came on and they dancd the call of da wild soul tured his arm into syth form nd shoved it up black^*!%&#Ostar's butt nd any normal person wud have died but black()^^%!$%star is god so dey started makin out instead.. (lulz S&M!1111) then he poopd and everything turnd wonderful and soul turnd bright red and then that was it 4 him, especially with his poopy arm and so he vanished into a poof of a million green absinthe fairies (dey were all on drugs). the phat russian mistress w/ her rolls of fatt and awesomeness plopped onto the seen and lickd his nipple and green firewrks exploded "that's it kityy," she growld softly through her fireengine red mustache, " come to mama keety and be a good leetle keety scratch scratch fiesty aren't you?" she cackled then everyting exloded and turned into las vegas the land of the bless-ed (not)


	4. Chapter 4

AN: ZOMG FANGZZZ 2 MAH BFFFFL (best fluffy female friend frankenfuter lesbian) CLAIRE jkjk shes straight! 4 HELPIN MEH WRITE DIS CHAPTAH! I'm IN LUV WIT U DESU!

chaptah quatro

all of da shinigamis were at da shinigami convention in las vegas. Dere was ryuuk nd rem nd lord death (wif his hot pocket) nd death da kidd nd itchigo and his girlfriend wats-her-face wif da poofy hair and grell and undertaker and williyum shakespear and da hot blond guy wif da glasses too but I dunt no his name. nd at da head of da table was voldemort and at da other end was darth vader.

We have 2 talk serious about da soulz we is gonna collect said darth vader swingin around his deth syth Justin law in guillotine form. He wuz big.

"I DONzT KNOW ABOUT DAT!" shrieked lord death! And he took out his gun and went postal. He shot ryuuk OVER 9000 TIMES and any normal person wud have died but he forgot dat dey were shinigasms so instead he just stood there. Grell wuz bored so he sat in death da kidds lap. All da shinigropers was eatin pepperoni pizza nd spicy tuna w/ avacodo sushi and lemonade (AN: cuz dats da best meal eva!111) and dey was watchin CNN in a crystal ball on da table. Chuck Norris wuz da reporter and Arnold shwartzaneiger wuz da news lady.

EXRA EXTRA NEWS FLASHG! MALE BIRTH CONTROL IS OUT SO G O WILD! Cant belivei'm sayin dis but thank kira 4 da government!

BREAKING NEWS japan robbed da bank and England (da cop, cuz u know dat one episode of hetalia) was out to punish him cuz he wuz naughty naughty naughty!1111

Dey had 2 keep track of everything dat was going on so Deidara was da scribe but he cudnt write cuz he wuz to busy makin out wif his hand. Wif tounge.

Den frankenferter poofed into the scene in a clam of whipped cream "SWEET TRANNY MOTHER MEATLOAF!"

MEANWHILES at da trancey manor alois nd ciel wer playing footsie and alois slid his foot up ceils thigh nd curled his towes into cielz pants. Ciel did a spit take nd da tea in his moth came flyin across da room nd hit sebbz in da face nd it wuz so hot dat any normal person wud have died but sebby is a bemon dutler so he just stood dere and sed "Yes mai lord". So alois kicked up his other leg nd pried cielz legs apart. Ciel leaned ovar nd massaged aloisz thighs and worked his fingers up into aloisz booty shorts. Alois groand nd suddenly ceils hands felt very very hot. Then sweet tranny shrieked: 'LETSD DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN" after he swiveled his hips and farted a giant blue wormhole opened up oin the centr of the room and every1 was transporte into star wars.

Thant's when ciel's shorts came flying off becoz of da hotness.

Den da canteberry triplets all fangasmed cuz young masters doin dirty things is hot.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: saihiasgyurswy to mah FRIEND CLAIRE HOO IZ COOL ND STUFFZ TO HELP MEH WFRITE IN DIS Chaptah desu

Chappppppppter cinq

Famous detective l wuz wakin up aftah a longgg night of smexin wif kira. Da first 1. not misa or sakujo. (dis wuz wen there hands were chained together). Light woke up to. Dey was crammed into one sleeping bag on da floor because l likes to do everything on da floor light rolled on top of naked l nd sed "good morning sweet cheekz.

Later dat day light made a deal wif rem. He sed he wud give her over 9000 apples so she cud kill l. so she took out her gun and sed IMA FIRIN MAH LAZER! And blasted bullets out of her nipples into ls chest and he died a painful deth. Light kira-laughed nd his eyes burned with ninja fire. But den he felt bad so he dragged ls corpse into his room nd ripped off all his cloths nd cuz u know his name is Imagay. YAY NECROPHELLIA!111111 but no one ever dies in shonen so l came back 2 life.

It wuz time for da next host club meeting. Dis time dere wer new characters. They wer transfer students from japan. They wer da popular bubblegum j-pop band STAR$ISH nd it wuz syo and satsuki and tokia and ittochi and ren and masa and watanuki kima-whatever. All of da characters were dere and it wuz loud and stinky and yaoi-full.

"LISTEN UP HOMO SIDE CHARACTERZ!11111" cried tamak=i. everybody shut up. "I have an important announcement 2 mak! We r all trying out 4 americas next top model cuz we is all smexy and stuff.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: da following chaptah iz based on a dream I had last nite. It was scary and shocking. I hope u really like it!

Chaptaaaar 6

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away pedobear owned an orphanage. It wuz called Pedobear Trancy & Company. It wuz located in north korea and co-operated by kim jung il. Some of da orphans there were alois trancy (obviously) edwar elric, hunny mitskunny and watanuki kimi-whatever. Da orphans tthere were spanked, mistreated and pedophiled. 1 day alois edweird hunny and watanuki decided 2 escape. Dey had to jump da Korean border first though. Da orphans didn't have any cloths so dey had to steal da sexy hooker kimonos so dey cud get da hell out. Dey all looked like very sexy & manly geishaz. First alois stole all of pedobear's money. Den dey covered da minefield wif play-doh so it wuz safe 2 cross. Da toughest part wuz jumping over da electric fence but Edward used his alchemy to make it go away.

Meanwhilez Ukraine was trying 2 put hr dress on behind a door, when all of a sudden, Belgium herd a bunch of suspicious noisrs and jumpd in2 tghhe room, a bunch of screams erupted and it was all downhill from there. . .

"OOH! Sheriked ukrain as Belgium smashed into hr and bumped her to da floor. But dnt worry she didn't get hurt becuz her boobs blocked her fall. Belgium wuz aroused by da sound of ukrains boobs smashing together as she hit da ground. and jumped to da ground on top of her. She curled her fingers through ukrains hair and stroked down her back cuz her dress wasn't zipped up yet. Ukrain turned over onto hr back and put her hand on belgiumz face, pulling her closer. She cud feel belgiumz warm sweet breath on hr face. Belgium wuz blushing "BUT UKRAINE we really shouldn't be doing this!" "its okay Belgium. I luv u." Ukraine slid off her shulder straps nd wiggled out of her tight silk dress. She wuz down to just her bra and slip. Belgium hungerly unclasped ukrain's bra and flung it across da room. Ukrain pushed her bare chest into belgiums stomache and nuzzled into her neck. She bit belgium's top button and tugged on her shirt wif her tounge. and den dey embraced and passionately made out for da rest of da night. And dere wuz hot yuri smexin.

then all of a suddn, Einstein zappd in2 the dimension and shoutd, "HURRY UP, THE GAY MARSHMALLOWS R ATTAKING!?" and so he zappd out again and the yuri couple screeched all of a sudden they herd a giant thumping outside, george bush was turning evry1 in2 gay marshmallows and they dint; know whaqt 2 do, so they realized that since their time was limtid b4 they turnd in2 gay marshmallows, the yuri couple decided 2 doit one last time, and then while that was happing, that`creepr george bush peekd through their window and shoutd,'so this is what` america's all about!? Yuri couples and gay marshamallows/1/1/' Mello was already gay and mello. And he was in a marsh so it didn't count.

READ NEXT CHAPTAH 4 POLAND'S SEXY SLUMBER PARTYYYY DESU!


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